If I Could Live My Life Again.
I would have cared for my teeth,
flossed twice daily, as the dentist said.
Tended my calloused feet—
they carried me to you and back.
Invested in a firm mattress,
eaten my five a day.
I would have taken care of my mind—
those amphetamines left me anxious.
If I could live my life again,
I would have bought better clothes,
worn t-shirts adorned with cats, and slogans.
Chosen substance over style.
If I could live my life all over,
I would have held my devilled tongue.
When you left, I would have been patient,
not chased the bus in the rain.
If I could live my life all over,
I’d make every mistake once more
To fall in love with you again.
Other Poems by G. K. Allum
I'm going to agree with another post but this reminds me of Philip Larkin's work. The quiet, aching simplicity, both tender and unflinching in its regret, longing, and love. It carries the weight of lived experience, the kind of reflection that only time and loss can bring a person. The progression from small, almost trivial regrets to the profound emotional core is beautifully executed.
That last stanza is breathtaking. It isn’t just about nostalgia, it’s about choosing love, even knowing the heartbreak it brings. This is art. In words.
This is really lovely