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JC's avatar

Lovely, crisp, specific imagery throughout & the last stanza shows true poetic quality: 1.) The decision to use the pool as a portal to traverse the speaker to childhood and admit his/her past physical frailties as a response to present emotional trials is a brilliant one.

2.) Resisting the urge to solve or resolve the tension you worked so hard to build with a neat ribbon as a final line made all the earned emotion in the early stanzas worth it.

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G. K. Allum's avatar

Your comments are generous, specific, and deeply encouraging.

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Alex Miller's avatar

As clear a picture of the anxieties of childhood as I’ve read in a long while. Well done.

“Breaking the bread of our acrimony” is a damn good line.

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